Best of Both Worlds
Since I was last here, there's been a LOT of things going on in my life. Some bad and heartbreaking, some not so bad with an inkling of light in the tunnel, some FANTASTIC. Sometimes the light in the tunnel was a train. But for the most part, the light has gotten me back on track. To who I think I am, to who I want to be. To where I think Karma wants me to be.
I've learned a lot the past few years. I completely fell off of the "positive" mountain and fell into the trap. It's so damn hard to start climbing from the bottom. Trust me, the further you climb, the easier it gets! I've seen the top and I'm determined to get back up there.
A single year into my Paramedic career. Oh boy. What an INCREDIBLE ride! Most of the "scared" is gone, I'm settling in to who I think a good medic should be. Eric and Paul told me from day 1 that they wanted to see what "Billy Medic" was like. It's starting to bubble to the top through the hate and discontent we see on a daily basis. I keep a little of the "scared" around on purpose. Outside the comfort zone is the only place to learn to be better. This blog itself scares me. I share my thoughts with complete strangers. Scary shit. I want to be the calm, the voice of reason, the answer to your worst day. But I'm scared too. That's my motivation to learn more, just in case you need something I don't know.
I actually have Paramedic students hanging around and specifically requesting ME. I have co-workers wanting and waiting to work with me. I'm being recruited by area EMS providers, no questions asked, come work with us. Recently I met a new "partner" for the first time at 0800. by 0900 I heard the gears click. No, they went CLUNK! We're trying to work together as much as possible, because it works. Absolutely not tooting my own horn here. I just surrounded myself with the best people I could find, yet again. It's OK to be a little selfish on this thought. Surround yourself with the best you can find in any situation. When you be comfortable with that situation, and people, it's time to move on and learn something. Something new, a different way of doing things.
Retiring from FD. Oh wow. I don't even know how to think about this. I've been super excited to retire and move on. Again, outside the comfort zone, surround yourself with the best. I've found myself as "The OLD guy" at the fire department. It seems like yesterday when I walked into that fire house full of the unknown and visions of grandeur and heroism. Years, many years down the road. When I look in the mirror, I do not see grandeur or a hero. I just do my job. Just like every other guy at MY FD. The guys at MY fire department are real heroes. They're my heroes. Just like every other guy/gal at any FD across the country. It's just what we do. Many things learned. I find myself in the position of those I held so high in esteem back then. I'm not ready to be THAT guy. I don't know all of it yet, I'm still learning. I'm always learning. I'll never stop.
I've met so many wonderful people. I've met so many people without a soul. I've surrounded myself with the best. I've tried to be better each day. Most importantly, I've learned so much. The TALENT of the people I've met I cannot describe. Instructors, co-workers, nurses, doctors, and even patients.
So, here we are.
Point #1: I want to continue my blog, express my thoughts, learn and grow.
Point #2: "Learn" is a consistent word in my blogs. My Fire Chief pointed this out.
Point #3: Be The One!
As payment to those that came before us. As payment to the people that have taught me so much. It'd be incredibly selfish to keep it to myself. I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to school. Instructor school. I'm keeping all the current certifications.
If you're willing to learn, in Andrew Carnegie style, It's my obligation to show you how.
