I've been waiting for 48 years to learn this lesson! It finally came to me, and I have to share!
My entire childhood was a struggle for me with my father. Not in a bad way at all. But he was always on my ass to do things better, and bitching that the lines in the yard weren't straight when I cut the grass.
My father busted his ass for his family, and we all knew that and respected him for it. He was a heavy equipment mechanic by trade, and took care of his wife and 3 children when he got home. He was short, wide, and ox strong. He's a lot older now, still short. But still strong. Not muscle like he was, his strength has turned to wisdom. He knew exactly what he was doing this entire time, it just took my dumb ass this long to figure it out.
Back in the day when my father was shaping who I would become, unbeknownst to me at the time, he was a pain in my ass. I was his flashlight holder, his hired help, his test pilot, and I recently learned his student. But NOTHING I did for this man was good enough. Nothing. I was always doing it wrong. A few years later when we moved closer to his father, I also became my Grandfather's helper and flashlight holder. You read the story about Grandpa's hammers. But it seemed now that I was hired help for Grandpa, I wasn't "good enough" for not only my father, but my grandfather as well. I could do nothing right. Ever. At least that's what my 8 year old brain thought. I just wasn't good enough.
Even though I wasn't doing things right, I felt the love. I grew close with my Dad and fell in love with Grandpa. He thought outside the box, and could fix ANYTHING. I got to see Dad when he backed his work truck into the driveway, I'd be standing there waiting for him. I cherished the weekend projects with my Grandpa. I knew I wasn't going to do anything right, and I'd be corrected for it, but the love I felt for these 2 men..... When I say men, I mean MEN. Diesel powered, turbo charged, grab life by the throat MEN,
Fast forward to my teenage years. I had more important things to do. Girls and cars. Dad made sure I knew about his influence for these years too. Unfortunately my Grandpa had passed a few years prior. "If it ain't right, leave it in the pits." Dad was an old school race car driver. More lessons. He and I years down the road developed "If it ain't right, it's wrong" but the lesson was always the same.
I got hired as a paid professional firefighter in 1990. My father was there, of course. My Uncle John was too. Both of them with advice. Good advice. I didn't hear the advice correctly, what I heard was I once again was doing it wrong. But Dad and "UJ" were my two biggest fans.
9 years into my career, I was setting the world on fire. Teaching rope rescue to General Motors plants in Dearborn and Pontiac Michigan. Trying my best at my fire department job. Frustrated at all the dead ends. PISSED OFF about the dead ends at the fire department. My Dad kept pushing. "Son, if you want it bad enough..." Dad, I cant!
In 1999 a band called Filter came out with a song called "Take a Picture" I was 9 years into my career as a professional firefighter. I was teaching rope rescue at General Motors plants across 3 states. I was writing SOP's for my fire department. I was teaching others, and motivating those younger than me, My Dad wasn't happy. He still kept correcting me. Kept pushing. Towards the end of the song are the lyrics "Hey Dad, What do you think about your son now?" I was struggling with what the hell does my Dad want me to do??? Damn dude! I can't win with you!
Take A Picture
A few years down the road, and my world falls into place. All of that "not good enough" was bullshit. My father and my grandfather believed enough in me to push me harder. The lessons learned made me who I am today, and those lessons made me responsible enough to accept the position I am in. It's taken me approximately 30 years to learn the lessons I needed to be a Fire Chief.
It's taken me 30 years to learn my Dad was pushing me to be better. To be the best. He saw something in me, and did his best to make me better.
I'm the Fire Chief Pop.
"What do you think about your son now?"
I KNOW what you think. I know what this whole city thinks.
This is YOUR legacy. Thanks for pushing me, I'll make you proud.
