Mad World

  PLEASE do me a favor on this blog.  As usual, I have a song tied to the blog.  But on this one, I want you to listen to this as you read.  I made the link open in a new window.  Less candy crush, more thinking.  Clicky Clicky ---->  MAD WORLD

  I've spent 24 years on a fire truck.  Planning retirement in 4 years, but I can't seem to get away from the chaos theory.  After this long, it becomes a way of life.  At first it was exciting!  Then a "job."  Now, I actually need it to function.  What am I gonna do after the Fire Service?  I can't deal with calm.  My retirement home has waves on a minute to minute basis, and an ever looming threat of a hurricane.

  Oh! EMS!  Good idea!

  All around me are familiar faces. Worn out places. Worn out faces.... Mad World.

  I love my less than a year old career on "my" ambulance,

  "Going nowhere. No expression"

  "I find it kind of funny.  I find it kind of sad.  It's a Mad World."

  "The Dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."

Mad World.  It's a Mad World.

  The things I've seen, the things I've done.  I would never ask from you.

  But somehow after the black clouds part, and you see what you've done in some little way that has affected so many lives.  Then sometimes you don't get to part the black clouds, yet you still see how you have affected so many lives.  "No Tomorrow."

  Your soul and heart only have so much to give.  What I have learned to do, is to take those "No Tomorrow's" and turn it positive, and be the best that you can be, on YOUR tomorrow!  "No Tomorrow" yesterday, cannot bring you down today.  They are counting on you.

  Put yesterday behind you, they need you at your best.  They don't care about your Mad World, they care about theirs.  They're scared.

  Be confident.  Be safe.  Situational Awareness.  Take over like you OWN IT!

  They're looking at you for the day they feel good.

  It's a Mad World, and their looking at you!  Be The One!

Blinded By The Light

  Blinded By The Light

  I was fortunate enough to work with a Paramedic that I respect yesterday.  She is one of the Paramedics I wish to pattern myself after once I graduate Medic school.  Definitely out of my comfort zone, which I enjoy.

  She's going through some personal struggles, and I'm thankful I can help her, at least a little, with them because she is giving SO MUCH back to me by being a mentor.

  Our shift started out uneventful, and pretty much stayed that way with only 2 runs.  First one was a little old lady in a nursing home that had fallen and really hurt her tailbone.

  The second run was for a 93 y/o man that had fallen and whacked his head pretty hard.  He is on blood thinners, so this is serious before we even get there.  On scene, he's "ok" but needs to go to the ER.  Load him up, his wife asks if she can ride with us. Sure can!  A neighbor lady helps her into the front of the boo boo bus.  Help in the back for a few minutes, and check his pupils, pinpoint and non-reactive.  Do you have Glaucoma per chance?  Yes, I do.  I'm legally blind.  My mentor Medic and patient in back, I'm driving, 92 y/o wife in front with me, off we go to the hospital.  No lights or sirens.  I introduce myself, and explain what's going on in the back with her husband.  She seems worried, but assured.  Just another run, I was thinking to myself.  Yeah, right!

  En route to the ER we chat about this that and in between.  She tells me that they have lived in that same house since 1953, and were married in 1951. 67 years!  Mr. Patient was coming in from the garage, and tripped on the carpet.  "You know how us old people kind of shuffle our feet instead of picking them up to walk."  Yes, I sure do.  She also informs me that she too is legally blind.  Well, now that poses a problem for me.  Family members cannot go into the ER where we take the patients in.  The entrance for family is around the corner, about 300 feet or so.

  I shout into the back of the ambulance,
    "Lori? We OK?"
    "Yes Sir!"
    "Is he stable?"
    "Yeah, why?"
    "I have to make a quick stop if I can."
    "Go for it, they didn't trauma team him. We're good back here!"

  So once we get to the hospital, I stop at the family entrance and escort Mrs. Patient into the waiting room.  I tell her that once we get her husband in a room, I will come back out and get her.  Stop at the security desk, and let them know what's up.  Back to the bambulanze, and take Mr. Patient in through the other entrance.  Do our thing, get him admitted, and into a room.  Put my cot and ambulance back together, and go back to his room, Dr's and nurses are already taking care of him, so I patiently wait outside the door.  ER nurse comes out, "You need me?" Nope, just need to know when his wife can come back.  OH! She can come back now, we're all good.

  So I go through the ER to the waiting room, and as I get close to Mrs. Patient, I can see that she recognizes me, and she smiles and stands up.  "Your husband wants to see you."  "Can you help me?  This is a new place, and I can't see very well."  Are you kidding me?  ABSOLUTELY!  She takes my arm, and we walk through the ER towards her husband's room.  The ENTIRE ER smiles at us walking arm-in-arm. Family in the waiting room, other patients, doctors, nurses, EVERYONE.  That right there made my day!

  But then we get to the room....  I watched a blind man's eyes literally light up when he realized his wife of 67 years was there!

  She leaned over to give him a kiss and says "You need to learn to pick your feet up, Clumsy."
 

 

In The Evening

  This blog post is about being "The One", and actually more specifically becoming one with your craft, your career, your life.  Stop letting your brain talk you out of all things that are good and possible in your life because your brain thinks you "can't."  You don't have to listen to those thoughts you're having.  It's OK to tell your brain, thanks for the input, but I want to do this.

Listen to this real quick, or play it in the background as you read.

Led Zeppelin, In The Evening

  Now, I am probably 100% wrong, but I honestly believe that Jimmy Page "FU ( |< ed Up" at 3:44 into this song.  But, he is such a master at his craft, that he did it again at 4:02 and made it sound like music instead of a goof.

  I've talked to several musicians, and the good ones tell me the same thing.  That instrument is literally an extension of their body.  The guitar plays what their brain is thinking. Literally.  Talk about being a master of your craft!  Saw a documentary on Discovery Channel about Flea from Red Hot Chilli Peppers.  He was manipulating guitar strings in such a way, that he didn't even realize it until they played it in ultra slow motion! Why? Because his brain wanted that guitar to sound like that.

  My friends and I drag race. There is a similarity, the good ones actually become "one" with the machine, and the car is just an extension of their mind.  I tell people that I don't climb over the roll cage in my car, I put my car on like a pair of pantyhose.  Heightened sense of reality, situational awareness at it's best!

  How many of us are this in tune with our lives?  Our careers? Our craft? I certainly am not!  I "get IN" my fire truck, I "get IN" my ambulance.  I am fortunate enough to work with a Paramedic that takes me out of my comfort zone, yes he's THAT good!  I'm uncomfortable, but like I have said in previous posts, that's the ONLY way to learn and better yourself, get out of your comfort zone.

  Situational Awareness is an awesome thing.  Can you hear the crew above you working on the roof?  Do you hear the water turning into steam?  Are you aware of outside threats about to penetrate your bubble of safety?

  What if we took this level of awareness to our personal lives?  There is only one person in charge of your life, and what happens to you.  If you want to change your life, look in the mirror, it ALL starts with YOU.


  Let's put LIFE on like a pair of pantyhose.  It's an extension of your mind, and you are in charge!

BE THE ONE!!!

Safe & Sound

I've been saying there is positive in everything, and you get what you ask for.  I've learned this lesson time and time again.  I was angry, I "asked" for more anger.  Learned this lesson once again!  What an incredible story I have to share with those that want to read it.

Safe & Sound

 There's a running joke that I'm "The Black Cloud" at my fire station, and my recently new job with an ambulance company.  That doesn't come as just a joke, there really is a Black Cloud following me.  I get all the bad bad stuff, read my previous blogs.

  This has been a hard week on my old bones.  Literally 120 hours at work, away from my family. I brought my cloud with me.  Yesterday I was on the ambulance with a mentor.  I was angry, and complaining.  He wasn't.  I got to thinking.....

  Karma, or as I say God, doesn't send the difficult problems to the weak.  God sends the difficult situations to his Warriors.  I forgot that lesson this week.  Thanks to my Medic yesterday, and a structure fire on the way home, I re-learned this.

  Positive in EVERYTHING!  It's been a very long week. But I was reminded that we can never stop being "students". Life, Fire Service, EMS, whatever your career is, family. Never stop learning. Ever.

  Long week. Lessons learned.  I'm grateful I could help others, and I'm "Safe & Sound".

  I'm also GRATEFUL for my Black Cloud.

Wicked Tuna

 

 Some of you may have already seen my Facebook post about relating my patients to Bluefin Tuna.  If not, here it is:  

  "Picked up just under 3/4 of a ton of women at work yesterday. Welcome to EMS! On the bright side, if they were Blue Fin Tuna, I'd be $18,660 richer."

  First of all I would like to say, I meant ZERO disrespect to my patients!  This post was meant to be a humorous post to get a chuckle out of my FIRE/EMS friends, which they obviously did.  Hell, even a few of my 5OH friends chimed in, as did my "outer space" friends. (Outer Space meaning normal friends with normal jobs.)

  Secondly, I would NEVER compromise the safety and care of another human trusted to my care. EVER!  24 years ago I signed my name on a blank check payable to citizens I didn't know, and some I haven't met yet.  I promised on a bible to give them my BEST day on their WORST day.  And trust me, I've paid for that promise and blank check, oh how I have paid!  

  I'm not done paying.  I can walk away from all of this shit tomorrow and make more money.  But I'm not done.  My choice!

  So back to the story behind my FB post.  Did I think of my patients as a Blue Fin tuna? Absolutely not.  Did I formulate a plan to get them out of their current position and to the hospital, with THEIR safety and comfort in mind? You betcha!  Did I write a check, payable to a really sore back, for THEIR comfort and safety? YUP! This is someone's Mother, Sister, Wife.  Someone that is trusted in my care.

  Have you ever had a 3 minute old baby handed to you to "fix"?  

  I have!  What kind of trust does it take for a new mother to hand over her 3 minute old baby to a complete stranger?  That's an awesome responsibility my friends, and one that we need to be prepared for and not take lightly.

  Seems I started something with the "Tuna Cash" among my little community of friends and coworkers.  Its simply a "fun" way for us to get rid of stress.  Plain and simple.  Something to chat about while we wash the blood out of the back of the ambulance and try not to think about the family's that were just destroyed.  The family's that called us first.  The family's that had no other option.  The family's that hand you a 3 minute old baby, the family's that don't understand why Jimmy OD'd on Heroin.  Something to chat about at 0300 HRS when sleep isn't gonna happen.  Something to think about when we drag our asses out of bed at 0430 HRS to go to work to help others.  TO HELP OTHERS.

  Those family's called YOU to fix this!  

  Find your own "Tuna Cash" way to get rid of the stress, or jump on board.  Don't judge.  Don't assume. Don't ever disrespect the tradition laid down by those that came before you!

 Be professional.  Be nice.  Be understanding.

 "BE THE ONE!"

The Demon Door

  Sorry, no song to go with this one, just straight thoughts from me.

  Every time I come home, without fail, My wife, my children ask "How was your day, Dad?" Even my buddy Carl is excited to see me, tail wagging "HI DAD!"

  My day was "OK" is my standard answer.

  What I don't tell them, or ANYONE is about my Demon Door.  The Demon Door is a place way back in the darkest corner of your brain that you store stuff you do not want to deal with.

  Today, I saw a woman overdose on heroin. At 5:00.  In front of her children.  In front of her grandchildren.  The grandchildren were watching Nickelodeon like nothing was wrong.

  Today I saw a completely psychotic woman about to end her life, because of things she had done in her past.

  Today I saw a 16 year old girl talking to her mother in a fashion that would NOT be accepted in my generation, and would have probably landed me in the hospital with a fractured jaw and missing teeth if I had uttered those words to my mother.

  Yesterday, I saw a Cop, who happens to be a lifelong friend of mine,  put himself in danger to make our community a safer place to live.  He ended up at the hospital getting stitches.

  I was very fortunate enough to talk to a new dear friend of mine tonight.  Wanted to know stories.  That's when WE realized the Demon Door.  There are things we deal with in the Police/Fire/EMS world that the general public cannot deal with, yet we do on a daily basis.

  We all have saved and lost loved ones.  We have all seen tragedies and travesties.  We have all been angry at the situation found, but have done what we were trained and hired to do and made a positive outcome.

    So, you people from "Outer Space" that want to know what's in our minds, out of your curiosity?

BEWARE

We ALL have a "Demon Door" 

Hey, I don't know

WHAT a day!

Hey, I don't know!

  Obviously by the lack of my blog posts, I done fell off of my mountain again. But this is a great story, and I'm climbing again, and NOTHING is getting in my way this time!

  This story depends on a past story, so if you're new to my blog or not familiar with my New Stanton exit story you need to read this first: The Country Song

  Cool story!  So a short time back I realized I fell off my mountain and lost my way.  I was asking GOD, Karma, The Universe to help me find my way back.  Thought I was doing good by trying to help others, but I wasn't "ALL IN" and it wasn't working.  There was a hump I couldn't get over, but I was trying.  I even thought to myself "Why isn't this working anymore? I'm really trying." Yet I was bitching about my idiot neighbor, Obamacare, and had a "Why me" kinda attitude somewhere in the back of my mind.

 Friday the 13th, June 2014.  Run over to Gibsonia PA to look at a car fire for job #2.  My son wanted to go with me for something to do, I explained that he can't go because you have to literally be on "the list" provided by the insurance company to even get in the yard, let alone look at the car.  He was curious as to what I do, and wanted to learn something.  I felt bad for telling him not this time.  So I get to the salvage yard, I LOVE this place.  I consider everyone there a friend of mine because I go there so often. Nice conversation with the office staff, Bob brings my car out, nice conversation with Bob.  Do my thing, figure out what started the fire, yadda yadda.  Then I get a text from my "brother".  "I need a HUGE favor if you're in Da Burgh."  I'm not in Da Burgh but I'm a hell of a lot closer than you are!  Just needed some pics of an accident scene he's working on.

  Drive back towards town until my "awesome" T-Mobile phone gets a signal, and we can figure out where the hell I'm going.  We figure it out, and before you know it I'm eastbound on the PA pike again.  This should be a 2 hour delay in my day to help my "brother" out.  On it!

  Send him a text, trying to be a smart ass, "OMG It's the New Stanton exit!  On Friday the 13th!"   Even send this pic:

 Yes, that's MY guardrail from the previous story.  Get off in New Stanton, head to 70 westbound and literally 10 min later my truck dies. I'm 2 min from where I need to take pics of the accident scene, and 2 hours from home.

12:30:  Well, I know how this ends up!  Been there, done that!  OH! Go figure, my awesome T-Mobile phone has ZERO signal!  Fantastic!  I jump the guardrail and walk towards the motel until I get a single bar for a signal.  Call 911 because I have NO CLUE where I am. Call my new roadside insurance because I learned from the last time!!!!  They're on it!

13:15: PA State Trooper shows up.  I have a CCW, my weapon is in the truck, loaded.  OK.  You're off the road, we're good, I'll check on you later.  Thank you sir!

  I don't think I'm in a safe place at all, so I remove myself from the potential accident scene.

  So we sit and wait. For 2 and a half hours!  Insurance Co calls me back, walk back towards the motel to get a signal, call them back.  Finally found a tow truck.  ETA 1 hour.  Tow truck driver on conference call tells me he has to stop for fuel first. GOOD BOY!  So here we sit.  Trying to help a friend.  All alone. Angry at my situation, my phone, and the world.  What else bad can you send my way?

Wow! Really?

  Ok, I'll shut up!

  I was ANGRY.  Wondering why I was being "punished" for trying to help a friend.

 FINALLY made it home, and still didn't know what my lesson was.  Grabbed a beer, hugged my wife, chatted with my son. It's been a looooong day.  I need a shower.  Then it hit me. WOW did it hit me!

 I was literally ASKING for this!  Needed some alone time. Got it!  Desperately asking for a way to get over that hump, and back on track. Got it!

  It took me a long time to figure it out, but I did.  I asked for exactly what I got.

  Standing on the side of the road alone. 

 I saw breast cancer stickers.  I saw POW/MIA stickers.  I saw Lupus, Autism and Alzheimers stickers.  I saw a Convoy of USMC troops that weren't with they're family's.  I saw a Dassanti truck when I was thirsty. I saw an ambulance on the red.  EVERYONE that passed me had problems of their own that don't concern me.

  So, Hey!  I don't know, why don't you tell me?  God sure did.  Just took me a few hours to understand my lesson.

  I didn't realize it at the time.  

  But I was the fortunate one.  

  My big problem was a faulty fuel pump.