Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Cruel World

Watch this first:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxCUyy_aVzA

The 100% MOST depressing video I have ever seen.  Did you happen to see the positive in it???

Holy CRAP did I teach myself a lesson tonight!!!  This is AMAZING!

As you all know, I fell off of my mountain.  Let me tell you, it was a deep dark place.  I said "was".  Such a Hurricane.  But I found it in myself to teach another about the ways of positive thinking this evening, even though I wasn't and haven't been practicing what I preach!

But the simple fact that I found someone willing to follow.  He's on his 24 hour test right now.  The simple fact that he's willing to follow brought back something inside me.  I was excited to start him on his way!

And ya know what else happened?  The fact that I was willing to "teach" and send my happiness to others that are willing to accept it, made a "happiness hole" in me.  God said, "HEY!  Lucky is low on happiness! I'll give him more, cuz OBVIOUSLY that's what he wants!"

BECAUSE I GAVE MY HAPPINESS TO OTHERS!  I made a blank spot to allow more happiness.

The video I asked you to watch.  Did you see it as a suicidal "Good Bye"?  I bet you did!

Here's how I take it:

Say Good-Bye to all the negative in your life.  The world IS yours. All you have to do is BELIEVE, and get rid of the happiness you have to others, and be thankful for the happiness that is about to rain down upon you!.  God (MY preference!) Karma, The Universe will see you want happiness, but you're giving it away.  More Happiness is coming your way because that is what you're focusing on!

Most NEGATIVE video ever!  I'll change your mind.  There IS positive in everything, if you know where to look. Need a lesson?

Watch it again with a POSITIVE attitude!  The first time you saw it, you were pre-programmed to think NEGATIVE about it.  When it says "Good-Bye", I want you to think about saying GOOD-BYE to your negative thoughts.  There really is POSITIVE in everything!

POSITIVE

See what I mean?  It's all perspective and train of thought.


YOU can do this.  I believe in you!



Friday, January 31, 2014

Who got the keys to the world now?

Just a quick post tonight.

Play this ----> Pitbull

  Such a learning experience!  Let my guard down for two days, and got my ass knocked down to the bottom of the mountain.

  But i've seen the top, it's indescribable! So I hit the bottom, yet again.


But with this attitude:

"Ziggy Ziggy Ziggy ZOW! Who got the keys to the world now?"

Rule #1: Don't forget the rules!

Rule #2: Do good to others, ALWAYS.

  I have the keys to your world in my hand. My world too!  It's sooooo simple!

Keep climbing!!!!!

Monday, January 27, 2014

The Avalanche

Avalanche  <--right click that, open in new window while you read!

  Last blog I mentioned this positive attitude was like climbing a mountain.  Well, it is.  This song from the Butthole Surfers explains how my January has gone.

  I fell off the mountain.

  Some things out of my control happened, and I spent WAY too much time and effort on them.  Remember the rules? Things we have zero control over deserve and get zero of our thoughts and effort.  I forgot that rule.  And summa bitch, here comes the Avalanche.  I found myself at the bottom of the mountain, yet again.  But once I got over the self pitty, and being a "victim", I learned something.  A LOT of somethings!  First off, the ONLY one that lets me or you be a victim of anything is US!  I was a "victim" of some bad circumstances, but only because I let myself be a victim instead of looking for and believing in the positive.  I'm not a victim, however I was afforded an opportunity to learn something.

  Once I let myself become part of the Avalanche, it was literally a downhill snowball ride!

"I can taste you on my lips, and smell you in my clothes."  That's all about my wife.  I literally smell her on my clothes all the time, and her long blonde hairs are EVERYWHERE!  She constantly reminds me of her presence.

  So I'm at the bottom of the mountain, self doubt, self pitty, self, self self self self self. Get it?  It was all about me focusing on the negative that just happened.  So I metaphorically smelled Michelle in my clothes. It's NOT about me! At all!  Being negative and self absorbed solved nothing.  All it did was guarantee my position in the Avalanche, when all I had to do was step aside and say "No. Thank you though!"

  So here I am at the bottom of the mountain, shaking the snow off asking myself "What the F*<$ was that?"  It was a learning experience, that's what it was. So what am I going to do about it?

  I'm heading right back up that fucking mountain!  Thankful for the lessons learned!

  I won't call it "teaching", because obviously I'm still learning, but I'm trying to share this way of thinking, and being with you. It's NOT easy.  It IS worth it!

  This song says, "You never just know how you look through other people's eyes."  That way of thinking will get you to the bottom of the mountain.  I'll leave you with a quote from my man, Andrew Carnegie.

"What other people think of me is none of my concern or business."

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Bad Attitudes And Good Pizza

  This attitude of mine just keeps getting better.  I was explaining to a friend the other day that Its literally like climbing a mountain once you start.  Difficult to do, and one little slip sets you back 50 steps you've already taken.  But once you get used to the ideas, it becomes a little less steep, easier to climb and small mistakes aren't so costly to your progress.

  On duty at the FD yesterday, shift started at 0700 hrs.  "Red phone" rings at 0706 for a lift assist.  Oh, gonna be one of THOSE days.  Next to "I'm 'hurt' and want to go to the hospital instead of jail", lift assists are my absolute least favorite calls.  Nothing against the people that need our help, but these calls are such a pain in our butts.
  So we travel up to 123 Main St, all kinds of angry because we HATE these calls.  Wait for the garbage truck to get out of our way, park in front of the house and make our way up the drive.  A nice elderly (85) lady greets us at the door with a tear in her eye, a smile and a warm Thank You.  Find out the problem is her daughter who lives in the finished basement and is confined to a wheel chair.  Let's call her Agnes.  Agnes tells us that her daughter "Betty" was reaching for some cat food and fell out of her chair. Betty is downstairs sitting on the floor sobbing.  My partner tells her that she's not allowed to cry two days before Christmas, and that we're here to help.  She says she's embarrassed and angry that her F*&^*NG legs don't work anymore.  Move the wheelchair behind her, make sure she's not hurt from the fall, and she's back in her chair literally before she knows what happened.  Agnes starts with the "Oh my! God sent me two angels this morning!  Let me give you money for breakfast." Explain to her we're not allowed to accept gifts, and we're just doing our job. Exchange "Merry Christmases" she demands a hug from each of us, and on our way back to the station.  Great. I wanted to be angry and two NICE people just sucked it right out of me.

  See how that works?  NICE overrules ANGRY each and every time!  Positive vs. Negative!  Oh, but wait!  This one gets even better!

  Back at the station, around 0740, 0751 "red phone" rings again, and I can tell from the tone in my partner's voice, I know exactly where we're going. 123 Main St. Now my partner is really angry.  I ask if she's hurt or wants an ambulance, he says "Nope, she just fell again."  Since I was in charge that day, I made a decision to bring an ambulance with us anyways. No lights or sirens. I'm ANGRY, NOT going to do this all day!
  Pull up in front of 123 Main St. and my partner says "Oh, I saved this little tid-bit for you. She fell off the toilet this time." Now I'm UBER ANGRY.  I felt myself and my anger about to ruin my whole day.

  Decision time Bill.  You gonna let this negative kill your whole day?  Or are you going to do something about it right here, right now?

  Climbed out of the rig, and grabbed Agnes' empty trash can on the way up the drive.  Get to the side door, and Agnes is in tears, yelling down the stairs, Betty is yelling up the stairs, and I can tell my partner is angry.  WHOA!!! I'm putting the brakes on this shit right now.  I pull Agnes aside upstairs, calm her down real quick. She WANTS Betty to go to the hospital, Betty doesn't. Betty is about 35 years old and can make her own decisions.  Agnes informs me that Betty was in a bad car accident in 1988 and has been on Oxy since this past Halloween.  Then she got angry, started drinking heavily, and "gave up."  "Agnes, this is the first step to getting her some help.  I'll be right back, you stay here."  My partner and I get Betty back in her chair, and move her to the bottom of the steps so she can talk to her mother.  Then the fight starts again.  My partner gets on the steps to be in between them and I pull Agnes around the corner into the kitchen.  We both do our own things to diffuse the situation, Paramedics show up and head downstairs to talk to Betty.  After a lengthy conversation about her legs not working because of the edema, we ask Betty if she misses having breakfast with her mom upstairs in the dining room, and that the doctors can fix her legs, but she has to go to the hospital first.  She agrees and we start bringing her up the stairs, at the landing Agnes kisses her on the forehead and they both start crying.  Get Betty loaded up, make sure Agnes is OK. More hugs, and she tells my partner and I "Please be careful of your angel wings today, don't clip them on anything."
  Get back in the rig, proud of not letting a bad situation get worse, and overwhelmed with the help we just provided to this family

  Around 1045 the doorbell rings. A lady hands my partner a Pizza Joe's box, a note that reads "We pray for your safety while you look after ours. THANK YOU for all you do!" and a box of candy.  Another call almost immediately, diabetic emergency.  Meet the Paramedics in the driveway, we all go into a nice family that is very concerned about Grandpa.  Get some D50 on board and Grandpa wakes right up and says he feels great.  Thank Yous and Merry Christmas from the whole family as we leave. Talk to the Paramedics a minute in the driveway, and the conversation turns toward our pizza we have waiting for us at the station.  On it!  Get back to the station, open the pizza box.... COOKIES!!!  Who does that???  Grateful for the homemade cookies, but now my belly wants pizza.  Call our favorite pizza shop to order lunch, they don't open until 1600. DOH!  Thinking about pizza allllllll day, run a couple more uneventful calls, and call back to order pizza at 1700.  2.5 hour wait. Wow. Really?  OK.

  1930 rolls around, and FINALLY my partner goes to get the pizza we've been craving since 1100 this morning.  Now, the owner of said restaurant is a notorious tightwad.  Use 3 sugar packets in your iced tea and he'll charge you a nickel for the third one.  Well maybe not that bad, but you get the idea.  My partner gets back with the long awaited pizza, and informs me that said tightwad didn't charge us a dime for it, and said "Merry Christmas!"  Open the box, and it was cooked to perfection. It was glorious.

  The best pizza I've ever eaten.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Freak On A Leash

  Ok, I know the title is technically wrong, but its my blog and I can capitalize whatever letters I want. LOL!

  Interesting week I've had!!!  But as always, lessons to be learned!

  First, this blog's title "Freak On A Leash"  that is so true right now.  I honestly feel like I'm thinking like a Paramedic already, and I'm not even done with EMT school.  I've embraced the EMS world, I want to know MORE MORE MORE, such a hunger for knowledge that I don't have right now which is the Freak part.  Licensure and protocols are my leash right now, but my mind is going crazy.  It saw something it likes, and a new way to learn to help others. It's ON now!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRGrNDV2mKc

  So earlier in the week I had a geriatric Pt that was having some major issues.  He was talking to us.  Then he went south IN A HURRY.  Long story short, long history of medical problems and he was laying on the floor for upwards of 14 hours when we found him.  He died two days after I helped him.  I was one of the last people he talked to.  Circumstances didn't permit, but I'm certain he had stories that I would have been enthralled in listening to.

 Rule #1: People die. Rule #2: Firemen can't change rule #1.

  So, I felt bad. Then I decided nothing I did or didn't do would have changed Rule #1.  But what I can change, is LEARN something from this call.  So I shared with my EMT classmates, and we have had a fantastic discussion about it.

  Fast forward to yesterday.  Find out the above Pt has passed. Snow storm, spend the day on duty shoveling snow. Just tired, and one of those "don't want to do this" type of days.  I normally try to go to bed around 10:00, but something in my gut wouldn't let me.  Then it started.  11:40, car wreck we really didn't need to be at. Four "I need a Bambalance" phone calls. No rest for the wicked, up all night.

  6:00 A.M. get a call for a woman that fell out of bed and hit her head.  Send an ambulance.  15 min later the ambulance company calls back, "Crew on scene is requesting assistance. Pt is 512 pounds." REALLY?  I'm an hour from going home!  So I get out of bed, all kinds of pissed off.  Arrive on scene. She's on the floor, BITCHING. Her husband is pissed, Ambulance crew is pissed, I'm pissed!  And she keeps bitching EVERY time we try to move/help her.

  Then it hit me!!!!  I was UBER nice to her!

  "Barby, My name is Bill. I'm with the Fire Department. I KNOW you're in pain. I KNOW you're embarrassed.  There are SEVEN people here to help you.  We would all rather be somewhere else, and I know you would like us to be somewhere other than in your house.  What we need you to do, is help us.  Its going to hurt, its going to be embarrassing, but if you help us it will go much quicker, and you can get on with your life without all these strangers in your house."

 And whaddayaknow? Badda bing, back in bed she went!

It's ALL about the positive attitude!!!!  EVERYONE including the patient was negative when I walked in.  What would me adding more negative have done to the situation?  Nothing good.  But just a LITTLE positive from me, turned that whole situation around for the better.

BE THE ONE!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Think the right way, do the right thing.

  So last week I had an interesting run in with Karma, God, whatever you choose to call it.  I call it God.

  Part time job took me to Altoona PA.  What a cool town! Typical Pittsburgh type town, mountains on one side, river on the other.  I got into the shady part of town and noticed a few homeless people meandering about.  Felt bad, but really didn't think anything about it as I was more concentrating on my job and what I would be doing a few moments into the future.  Setting myself up so "Future Bill" would be happy with what I'm doing right now.  That's a WHOLE different entity in itself, I'll get more into that part in the near future.
 
  So I get to the salvage yard in Altoona, GREAT people work there! Helped me out a ton and treated me like I owned the place.  Even though I was only there to look at a burned up car.
 
  Got done looking at the car, made my phone calls to clients and office.  Then my mind starts.  I KNOW Andrew Carnegie was in Altoona for a short time in his life, wonder if there is a museum, statue, anything I could stop and look at.  Found a railroad museum but didn't stop for some reason.  The reason would be revealed later in the day.  In case you're wondering, Andrew Carnegie started as a telegraph runner, then migrated to the Pennsylvania Railroad upon his family moving from Scotland to Pittsburgh.
 
  So I drive my butt back home, and need to make a stop for supplies to deep fry my turkey.  On the ride home I start thinking about the upcoming Thanksgiving and the homeless guys I saw earlier in the day in Altoona. I'm not getting into specific locations to protect the innocent.  Stop at a Walmart in a plaza.  Run in, get my stuff, he goan!  Homeward bound, 4 days off for both my cute blonde wife and myself! CAN'T WAIT to spend time with her and our dysfunctional family!

  At the traffic light on the way out of the plaza sits a disheveled homeless man holding a sign that read "Homeless. ANYTHING will help. God Bless."  I only had a few moments before the light changed, but I noticed he's huddled up protecting himself from the cold and hasn't shaved in quite some time.  Light changes, and I'm on my way.  About a half mile down the road, I hear myself "You should do something!"

  So I turn around and head to KFC.  Buy a 10 piece meal deal and ask if they have coffee, it's COLD outside.  She says no, so I pay for the meal and head to BP because I know they have coffee.  On the way past the homeless guy (he was in between KFC and BP) I notice he has a dog with him.  DAMMIT!  I get to BP, get a large coffee with all the fixings separate because I don't know how he likes his coffee, buy a bag of Cheez-Its for the dog, my dog LOVES Cheez-Its so that was my best bet.  Tell the lady at BP what I'm up to, she thinks its great.  I go to the check out counter and there is a power ball ticket with a note that reads "I'm a mistake. PLEASE buy me!"  Oh HELL YEAH I bought it for $6!

  Make my way back up to the plaza to drop off my care package.  As soon as he sees me get out of the truck, he gets up and starts walking towards me.  I tell him lunch is on me today, and explain the Cheez-Its.  He says he doesn't know if his dog likes them or not, "But lets find out."

  Ya know what my man did?  He fed his dog first.  Didn't take a sip of coffee, didn't root through the bag to see what I bought him.  He got the dog dish out and filled it with the Cheez-Its.  I get back in my truck, and as I'm pulling away I see the cops pull up.

 With this new way of thinking, I'm trying VERY hard to keep all negative thoughts out of my head.  Its just my brain being bored, and I don't need it.  I very politely use my conscious brain to tell my subconscious brain "Thanks for the input! But you're not needed." and force myself to think something positive instead.  What happened next amazed me.  When I saw the cops pull up, I immediately thought "Aw crap, now I got him in trouble."  And without TRYING my brain went immediately POSITIVE and said "No, now he has a warm place to sleep, and an avenue for help because of you!"

  Think right, do right!  What a lesson I learned from a homeless man that day.  No, I didn't win anything on the powerball. What I did do was restore faith in humanity to the girls at KFC and BP and helped a fellow man.  A man who was more concerned about his dog's hunger than his own.

  With my heart smiling, I drove home. Positive thoughts, and had a wonderful meaningful Thanksgiving with my family and friends.


  The turkey turned out perfect. And all was right with the world.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Ain't No Rest For the Wicked!

  What an INCREDIBLE past few days!  I didn't save any lives, or stuff like that, but learned something I want to share!

  We have to rewind a few days to get the point of this story, so bear with me.  This whole "mess" started a few days ago.  But I'm gonna tell you, it was a mess at first, then I realized it was a learning experience, and OH what I learned!

  This started Sunday. I was on duty at the fire station.  QUIET day, with storms rolling in.  I knew it was coming, just wasn't sure when.  About 2130 we got the call for wires down.  Neighboring Fire Dept was on scene, realized they were on my side of the border, called me.  Gotta go.  Around 0400 the following day, I made a decision and secured the scene and cleared.  7 hours with cat naps in the rig was enough.  Ohio Edison is really busy with the storm, but I'm done babysitting wires.

  Get back to the station, all kinds of tired and angry.  Write my report, back to bed around 0430.  EMS call at 0500. Really?  I have part-time job stuff to do tomorrow!

  Get out of work at 0700, try for a nap. No dice. Tones hit, and I'm off and running again.  Get back home, get my paperwork together, make some phone calls, set up my day for my part time job.  Car fire in Aliquippa PA, and structure in Lowellville OH.  About 150 miles driving, and an all day project. Swell.  "Warren J, you betta go to 7-11. I'm gonna need a Slurpee to figga dis one out!"  That's a different story when I rode along in Fairfax County VA.  So I get some Monster Rehab, and go about my day.  Angry.

  Drive to Aliquippa PA, figure out the car fire.  Stop at the structure fire in Lowellville OH on my way home.  I am SO beat at this point.  Get home, just dragging ass tired. I've had 1.5 hours sleep in 48 hours.  NAP!  Curl up on the couch with my favorite pillows.

  NO!  Dumb ass! Get up!!!!!  EMT class tonight, and a quiz!  OMG!  Let me sleep!

  Where's the lesson?  You have to read deep into this story to see it.  I'll give you a minute to think about it.  Hell, it took me 3 days to realize I was learning something!  In the meantime listen:

 
  Ya ready?

  I was feeling sorry for myself, feeling bad I was so tired.  Then I got to thinking about a good friend of mine that was handed a career death blow, but he didn't stop.  It made him stronger.  I believe he's off to bigger and better things because he always thinks positive!

  Here's my lesson:

I went to school to do this.
THEY depend on me to fix their problems.
I continue my education, so I can help them in other ways.
They ask me to help them in other ways.
I continue to fix those problems as well.
I continue my education.

I will never stop learning how to be a better firefighter.

  So let's go back a bit.  It's all about the positive attitude.  You want a puppy?  You think about puppies!  POSITIVE things about puppies!  You don't think about the food, the accidents on the floor, the problems.  You think about a new best friend, and scratching his belly.

  I was taught a lesson, without even realizing it.  Because I'm making an honest effort to be positive in all aspects of my life.

  YOU wanted this training!
  YOU went to school!
  YOU want to be one of us!
  YOU want to be a Warrior!
 
You want a better world?  You don't have to fight fires for a living, but I do have the answer!  It starts with YOU!!!!